Paradise beach

I am with both new and old friends living a dream on a golden sandy beach, where dolphins swim into the bay and play every sunrise and sunset. I had one encounter swimming with them but the water was too murky to see but there was a moment when I was surrounded by air bubbles so I think that they were checking me out. Everytime I see them my heart flips, they are such awesome creatures and seem to interpret and illustrate time in such a engeniously unique fashion.
I have finished a 5 day fast , water only for 3 days then fruit juice for 2 days. I feel good, I have found a great yoga teacher here from the UK who is inspiring me to ease my way back into yoga , and 'touch the stillness' once more after being distracted by my journey into meditation for the previous months.
I am staying in a hut on a beach shaped like an OM, in the centre, I live with some beautiful folk and we are like a family in our living habits, I have met a friend who I did vipassana with in McCloud Ganj back in October, and my dear travel companion Ani. Our place is a place where babies are born, cows guard their newborns with fierce protectiveness and dogs share their pups with glee.....

India the land of extremes- a complex concept!!

I felt inspired to write about my understanding of Indian culture, which, is often referred to as one thing, but everyone of the 26 states is absalutelyand completely different, and even within states there are massive differences in how people conduct their lives and cultural practises. One comparison that I have been thinking about generally is the north/ south divide. So my observations are very much a generalisation but I have noticed the massive difference between western states in the north and south, I do not feel that I spent enough time in the eatern states to compare at all. I htink the north is more developed than the south, there are more westernised tendencies, there are more mountains..... (the Himalayas would put any other ranges to shame!), it is hotter in the south, the people are blacker, and in the caste system black is considered to be a sign of a lower caste, women seem to have more value in the south, it seems cleaner in the south- because less tourists/ less pursuit of western greeds?, bargaining is more gentle, eg one gives richshaw drivers the amount that one thinks the journey is worth, the food in the south is probably my favourate of all the places that I have been, I love the chutneys (coconut esp!) I am trying to learn it befor eI leave and then I can delight those I love with delicious meals. This is not complete but I will add more later.... some musings for now.

Ethical volunteering

I thought I should write about an interesting and relevant conversation I had with some other travellers about ethical volunteering. They had looked for a company who organised ethical volunteering projects and then were happy to pay to take part in one project in Africa, they found an organisation called 'Quest' who met their requirements. They pointed out that it was important that if one is voluntering abroad then it is *important that they are doing something that they are qualified to do in their own country, and I can give the example of when I took classes with the children in Ladakh, I am not trained teacher but if I went into a class to help then the teacher would dissappear....? Then mayhem often ensued.... * Only take part in long term projects, rather than a project that only exists for the sake of the volunteers who are participating * Don't do something that a local person would get paid to do. My friend gave the example of when she paid to participate in a project teaching english in Camaroon, but the people who she taught paid to take the lessons and the host family who hosted her did not recieve any payment.....

Let the body fast and feed your soul.

Kerala, S.India. It is the neighbouring state to Tamil Nadu and couldn't be more different, being here has made me really appreciate the simplicity and authenticity of TN. Kerala is a consumer society, and much more westernised than its neighbour. It has a lot more water too, it keeps raining and the land is intersected with beautiful silent waterways, teeming with life. Apparently the rain is not normal for this time of year however, more evidence for the global nature of a changing climate. The most obvious difference between Kerala and Tamil Nadu however is the role of women, in Tmail Nadu it is a very conservative society and women always play an inferior role to the all knowing, all seeing man, but in Kerala it feels like theres less sexual repression and the women have a more equal status. In Kerala the Niars caste is the most dominant, they are traditionally the rulers and warriers of the state, and the Niars community is the only remaining matri lineal community in the world! In other words the family name is passed on through tthe women raher than the men..... I have been here for a while and came on an epic 3 day train journey from Agra where I saw the Taj Mahal, impressive but please check my photos for the more feminine 'Baby Taj' which really captured me.
I am having a wonderful time here, my dad and big brother joined me for a holiday which was great but a dramatic change from my usual low key travelling style! Great to see them and to share India with them, it has really touched my life, and seeing how it touched them too was really special
I am in Cochi which is a touristy haven, but actually really nice. I will leave tomorrow however to head to a beach where I can swim, but my movements are westwards now. I am planning my return, and I think I will retrace my steps through Pakistan and Iran and Turkey. But this depends on whether I can get a Pakistan visa in India, as it is reputedly difficult.
Being in Kerala is gorgeous, very humid and hot, its very gorgeous here abundant with wildlife and nature, so far we saw elephant dung, dolphins, Giant Malabar Squirrels, kingfishers, flying fish, an otter, eagles, cranes, unidentified frogs... We swam in the lovely silky, warm arabian sea and ate fresh fish.
Tomorrow I will head north to a beach where I can again swim everyday, something that enriches my life immensely.

The Ganga is the artery of India obviously

I am in Rishikesh and am blissed out, it is the melting pot of Indian spirituality and beauty. If India is the land of the heart, and I believe it is, then The Ganga is the artery. Here I realise how India has infilitrated my blood after all this time. My pace is slower, more mindful, physically and mentally, I am more shanti in my totality. Equanimous in my being.
Travelling alone again, I like it very much but I have been thinking about how travelling is for a woman on her own. I think it is the way to travel actually, its so easy, everyone is so willing to help at every step, because the assumption is that I am more vulnerable as a woman on my own, however this is a double edged sword of course, as sometimes the help is more than is wanted, and my independence is incroached upon.
I am aware that I am more defensive when I am on my own, not to such an extent that I am not forming connections with people, but for example I have learnt that I cannot let any Indian man touch me, even to shake hands, because there is much sexual repression here seemingly. I do not let men take photos with me any more as they just use it as an excuse to touch me, and although in my culture in the west this is no issue, it is here. Innocence prevails here and men do not think that a woman may be scared of them, they always look very surprised and apologetic when reminded.
I feel like a potential problem here in Rishikesh is that I will feel like I should be doing lots of things however the peaceful atmosphere counteracts as does my shanti presence that and I feel very happy to quietly remain open to soaking up the array of delights that are in abundance here.

Seeing things as they really are

Just out of vipassana retreat, my second experience and much more powerful than the first, my medtation has come on lots and I worked really hard. Concentrating one's mind for 10 hours a day is no mean feat, from 4.30 am till 9pm we are working on our meditation. Sitting in a meditation posture for all this time is an amazing experience, my body is so toned and fit now which is bizarre after not doing any conventional exercise for 12 days! And the pain that one experiences is undescribable, and not relieved by adjusting posture even. I was able to enjoy the experience this tme immensely and met yet more sisters of course who I went on a fantastic expedition to a mountain 10km walk away and spent the night in a cave under the full moon...... Divineness...
I realised that I suddenly was pining for my friends and family for the 1st time achingly.
I have decided to return for the job with The banyan next summer probably.
Eagles and vultures, kites and crows circle the wind currents above the city continuously reminding one of freedom and simplicity. Dharamsala is a gorgeous place but it is tinged with saddness, as there are many Tibetans here living in exile hoping that Tibet will be one day free from the human rights violations of the Chinese authorities when they will be able to return.

Monkeying in the Mountains with His Holiness

I attended the first day of teaching by HH Dalai Lama today, it was really moving, he is truely an awesome being. I have found a great charity HOPE in McCleoud where I have just spent a happy time chatting with young Tibetans, I love the Tibetans, they are so interesting and compassionate, seeing them with HH is so touching, the Tibetan and Ladakhi cultures both resonated with me in a special way, they are simple and gentle, perhaps it is the strong element of Buddhism in both that really makes them appear so genuine and grounded in humanity. I think Indian culture is harsher, but it has a place in my heart. I love how everyone is considered to be family, and everyone calls each other brother/ mother etc, society is run according to the heart and it seems to work in a very chaotic way!! I mean people often make payment in ways other than money and people trust one another by default. In the west societies function according to laws and etticut much more, less heart involved! Negative aspects of this FULL ON society are the ever widening gap between the rich and the poor, the lack of awareness of the environment, and the status of women, men do not see women as equal, as inferiors and objects of sex, apart from mothers that is, older women are treated very differently!!! However I often find younger men who are quite able to have an educated discussion with me, but they do say that they think of western women as different to Indian women, and I suppose in the main they are!
Another thing I love about Asian culture is the aspect of gift giving, if someone is given a gift they accept it without question graciously, whereas I find that westerners often decline gifts which baffles (and offends Asians). I love giving gifts and it is a delightful thing when my gifts are recieved unquestioningly.
I love walking around the mountains here and I got into adventures (quelle surprise!) a few days ago when I tried to find a waterfall, I lost the path and found myself in the middle of a jungle, and suddenly realised that I was in the middle of a community of human sized black faced monkeys, who were clearly distressed by my presence, I was a bit alarmed I admit as I realised how vulnerable I was, so I decided that it would be a good idea to sit down and meditate, so I did and the monkeys chilled out. I mused that maybe they could understand the energy that I gave off when I was meditating as it was simpler than the complex human nature of today that is so far removed from our ancestors!
I have met some folk who I was in Leh with, and they are great companions, I plan to trek to the snow line with a lovely French Canadian after the first set of teachings and sleep in a cave!!
More adventures await me....

Choosing happiness

So here I am in Dharamsala, what a gorgeous place, I have such a good feeling from it already. The bus ride from Manali was fantatic entertainment, 10 hours of divine Indian scenes, and bouncing children, and aching seat bones....
Manali was a breif stop, but contained delights of course, a full moon party in the middle of a forest, with some lovely traveller folk.
I ached a bit to leave Ledakh, it gave me so much, but in the usual travelling fashion I soon discovered some new beams of light in the form of 2 Californians who led me to a lovely home in Vashist. But I felt sad to leave behind the sun capped mountain peaks, always smiling, always changing. I met some really class people before I left too. I gained so much from my time in Ledakh, it gave me so many new perspectives. Inspired by a beautiful meditation I wrote this poem
Veins
External and internal
Keep the flow
Dynamic and refreshing
Continuous change repeating
Streams rushing purposefully with their precious load
Nourishing and sustaining life
Delivering hope and loy to all in their paths
These blessed energy systems of all life
Galantly serve their duty
With humility, resolution and grace.

Six months after arriving into India I can safely say that I have fallen in love with the mother, the culture here is so very different from the one I have always known, and indeed from state to state within India, but now it feels like I have absorbed her into my skin, and am excited and delighted to be here, and a little concerned about how I will adapt back to life in the west eventually- any advice from folk who've made the transition is warmly welcomed.

Essentials for travel

Heres a potentially helpful list- it'll probably grow as I think of more stuff but right now this is my feelings of what has been really useful for me. I think it is really important to travel light, so essential stuff should take precedent over comforts!
* Sewing kit
* Silk sheet bag
* Head torch
* Photo album of home (I have really had some wonderful connections with folk when they can see my home and family/ friends and people really seem to like it too)
* 2x sarong (very versatile can be towels, dresses, light covering, table cloth, parachute etc...)

Transitions

Leh festival is in swing, its a fabulous celebration of Ladakhi culture, a procession just hooted its way down the main bazaar and we went to a polo match this afternoon, a mad dusty affair, with dogs and children wandering onto the pitch at random and a deathly ball hurtling past the heads of the crowd, good fun though. Its cold here now, and very much end of the season, very few tourists here still. Time has come to leave Spiritual Leh, 2 months after I arrived, many experiences have blessed my journey here in Ladakh, including all my children, and friends, and seeing such an inspirational culture in such intimate circumstances. Ama-Le (Mum) came for a wonderful holiday and loved Leh and sharing all of the delights that I have found here. After she left I suddenly was met by some more inspiration and signed up for a 5 day trek from Lamayuru to Chilling, lucky with my companions and guide and cook who were all absolutely top class lads, we were unlucky with the weather, and on the 3rd day we slept at 4100m and woke up to find that our tents were covered in snow, motivated by a breakfast of porridge we began the ascent to Kanzhin La 4900m in blizzard, and about 20 minutes from the top some pony men who had passed us turned back and told us that the pass was too dangerous to cross and 1 donkey had slipped off the path, so we turned back as our guides decided that it we could not take a risk, and even if we managed to pass our ponies may not and then we would be left without all of our stuff at the top of a freezing cold, snowy mountain. Disappointed but glad we were safe we descended again. We returned to Leh a day early. I really liked trekking though and it has given me a taster, I will go again, but the snow has come early in Ladakh this year, so the passes are dangerous. I met another traveller Gee-Gee from Italy who came to the hostel for my leaving party, he was so inspired by the children that he decided to make a film about the project and show it in Milan, and let more people know about it. I gave an interview saying that I thought it was beneficial to the children to be exposed to different cultures, and I emphasised that if people have skills in special education, then it is really useful, but that if anyone comes they should be sensitive to Ladakhi culture and try not to glorify western culture.

Cultural blinkers

I have been on an incredible learning curve since my last post, all culminating at the weekend when I went on a Silent nature meditation retreat in the mountains. Awesome experience, I discovered a balance in my physical and psychological being that felt new to me. And my teacher, a westernised ledakhi, told me very firmly about some truths relating to my status as a volunteer and the very different culture here.
Many Ledakhis whom I meet tell me that the author of the book that i recommended last time is not respected by the native people. People see her as stranger who has come into Ledakh and romanticised the culture, and demonised the influence of development which has actually made life much easier for these people who live in such a harsh environment. It is a beautiful culture here I love Ledakh, but it is very different from the west. As someone who has spent all my life in the west, it is my default setting to see through my culturally conditioned eyes. That is not at all appropriate and I see that now. So although it is hard for me to understand some things it is absalutely necessary that I respect them.
This is a valuable realisation, especially if I want to continue to support this project with foreign professional support. It is very important that people who want to participate undergo cultural training.
So I will leave on sunday and my marvelous mum will join me in leh. I will take my mum to meet the kids at the hostel, she has always wanted me to have kids, and now I have 25, she'll be delighted!!
We will have a party on sunday, with some traveller friends who will bring along their musicalities, the kids love dancing, and I will bring a cake, so fun all round I am sure!
Then I leave, happy to have these children in my heart and happy to have had such an intimate introduction to this beautiful culture, which has taught me so much and happy to know that the children are loved and safe, and supported.

Traditions of frugality and cooperation in the heights of the Himalayas

I am 3400m above sea level and still my neck is craned to gaze and love the mountains towering above.... I found the journey here very tough, and my body took some time to adjust. This was quite a shock, being a young, fit and healthy woman I had not really expected to have trouble but the high altitude is very tough, and after 20 days I still find myself fighting for breath at times, the air is so thin!
So now I am volunteering with a hostel that enables children with disabilities, who are form rural areas in Ladakh to access education. I arrived and then went on holiday with the children, to beautiful Nubra Valley. I fell in love with them all, (in particular with their noses) 25 kids from 6- 17, various disabilities from physical to dyslexia.
The kids are not like kids in the UK, they are much less spoilt and self centred, they are bright and generous and loving.
But they have NOTHING.
Still they smile through.
Wow, again I am humbled.....
So I return to the hostel tomorrow, as do the kids after their summer holidays, and a friend I met on the road will also join me there which I am very happy about as it is much easier to keep the energy levels high if I have a comrade!!
I am reading 'Ancient Futures' by Helena Norberg-Hodge, this book is about the effect of globalisation on ancient cultures like the traditional society in Ladakh too quote a passage ' {R}eweaving the local, the small scale, the intimate, the natural, the human, show that, one way or another, nature willprevail, that it is this deeper heart-power, and not money, that truely makes the world go round. The question for all of us, as natural life support systems collapse all around us, before our very eyes, is a simple one: how soon will sufficient numbers of us learn to listen to our hearts?' (2000 Rider). I can reccommend this book to anyone interested in the affects of globalisation on traditional societies (infact everyone should read it).

Filling the void....walking a blessed path in Nepal....

Living Buddha came to me, a Nepali boy who went into meditation at the age of 15, and has not drunk water or eaten food for the past 3 years, just sat in deep meditation in the deep jungle in East Nepal in Bara district. I was so blessed to be led to him, he is certainly a Bodhisattva, as he is totally united with his environment, he denies that he is Buddha, but those around him believe that he has reached enlightenment already. The Discovery channel and other media have attempted detailed documentaries, you can check them out through www.paldendorje.com I lived in the jungle with the monks and nuns who have set up camp near him in the jungle for a few nights and I was overjoyed to discover the most loving and peaceful community that I have ever encountered. Language was not shared but by praying, worshipping, eating, living together, a pure love developed between us, through a shared love of a guru who lived so close to us. Wild animals like elephants and tigers frequent this area of the jungle but they never cause any problems to the community, or to Guru.
Now my being is light and purified.
The magic continues to lead me through Nepal (Never Ending Peace And Love), enabling me to remain intouch with my heart and follow it, and back into India, and heading northwestwards to Leh. I loved Nepal, I felt a powerful connection to the simplicty, and magnificent beauty of people, mountains, animals. So I begin the 2 day windy path to Leh tonight, maybe I start work upon arrival, but with climbing to 5300 m, this is subject to altitude adjustment!

The pilgrimage

So much has happened since my last entry, I left India after journeying to wonderful Sikkim, NE India bordering with Bhutan, Nepal and Tibet. Its a separate state, but even more separate than Scotland from Engand in some ways, foreigners need a special permit to go there. Its a real break from India, prices are regulated, no plastic bags are allowed, there is a curfew of 9pm when everyone has to be off the streets, there is all sorts of messages everywhere reminding one to be environmentally aware. I think I saw a Red Panda in the jungle at 2100 m scooting through the trees. Then I made a mad dash to Nepal before WBengal shut down into strike for 30 days as part of the campaign for the separate state Gorkhaland. Me and my compatriot made a dawn escape into Nepal, only to find more strikes... My pal decided to fly to Kathmandu, but I wanted to wait for the strike to be over and take the bus. Well it is all clear now why, Buddha wanted me to go to him. I met Vision/ Darshan who told me about a living Buddha in the jungle, I was captivated, and wanted more and more stories of a Bodhisatwa in the jungle in E Nepal

Gorkhaland

I am in NE Bengal, on the border with Nepal, the community here wants independence from WBengal to be their own state of Gorkhaland. Its lovely to see people exercising their right to protest. It feels much more relaxed than my hot home in Tamil Nadu, I didn't realise how conservative it was until I have somewhere to compare it to. Its so much cooler, I am at 2100m here and headed to Sikkim tomorrow with my new friend and his tent, we hope to find hot springs, and drupchas and masked balls. However expectations are never without trickiness as we all know. Sikkim is another interesting state, foreigners need a special permit to go there, it borders with Bhutan, Tibet and Nepal. Others travellers and locals say that it is magic.
I went to Mirik, a cute wee town (approx 10000) on the Nepal border and made many friends. I was taken to the local hospital, and was totally gobsmacked.... there was nothing there.... a few overworked doctors and nurses... and electricity, but nothing else. I commented my disbelief to my local friend Nick 'But the Indian government are rich, how can they let health care facilities be in this state?'. He answered that because officials are corrupt the money never gets spent on what it should be. How grim thinks me? What possible solution? Answers on a post card please.... Tighter regulation needed but when that too is corrupt, what to do? Work with their motivations. Thats all I can think of. But how?

Transitting

I have left Kovalam. Feel like it penetrated deeper somehow and I will return but who knows what lies in store....? I left in a whirlwind, becoming very emotional when saying goodbye to the women who were eating dinner when my lift came, and I tried to shout 'Poito Varen Nan romba virenburem' but it stuck in my throat, and my roommate finished my sentence on my behalf, one of the women got up to come and kiss my cheek, and they all shouted 'bye', I didn't feel like I was able to punctuate my stay with the community like I usually would, because of the language issue, but I kept pestering the SW in charge about it, and she assured me that she was informing the residents of my time periods etc.
I emailed my journal to all of the managers before I left, and felt a bit wary as it contained very honest accounts of my experiences.... Byut I was extremely pleased to receive replies from several of the managers saying that they appreciate my insights and expected that a lot of changes would occur because of them!! WOWEE!! That feel really positive!
So now I head to Kolcata tomorrow morning, I am a tourist again for a while before I begin my next project in Lehdakh, working to improve access to education for children with disabilities.

Becoming a native

My friend Jeeva took me to see a Tamil film the other night and I was very excited about how much I understood. Speaking Tamil is still quite stilted apart from familiar conversations that I have mastered, but I am now understanding quite a lot. Great for my confidence. My body has become accustomed to the heat, 42C is the average daily temperature, and although this floored me to begin with, these days if I sit in a A/C room, which brings the temp to 20C then I am shivering.
My friend Sathya Murthy saw a 2 metre long snake (pambu) crossing our wee track the other day!! Certainly from the tracks in the sand it seems they are common here.
My birthday yesterday was wonderful, everyone made it very special, they have all been so kind to me and are very keen for me to return. I have been well looked after here, I have not been sick since arriving, and always treated like a princess 'Kamala Madam' is how I am called (despite protests!!).
I brought a 5kg bday cake for everyone, this went down very well "Happy Birthday Kamala"
I have been offered the job of activities coordinater (my suggestion). I will leave here on sunday I think but may well return to take up the post in november.... life permitting....
I gave a presentation today 'A Scottish perspective on MH care' and despite having no current, it was very successful with much intersting discussion
Feels like I got a message across and some adjustments to organisation were made in theory at least.
Pleased but very tired, all day long, talking, sharing, inspiring.....

Philosoohising about living

I am in the midst of watching and living and completing cycles, like the moon, which climaxes this month on the morning of my birth date 20th May. I am pretty knackered, I am working very hard, with only 1 week left of this voluntary placement. I have a lot of finishing off to do.
The Banyan have offered me a job! Crikes, biggie..... Basically they have said that they want to keep me, and will allow me to create a job for myself! Wow- what an opportunity, great for my career, there is so much scope here, I mean from real basics, like regular supervision of the staff, like the that is language used, the involvement of people in their own recovery, community development... to name but a few.... so the question is whether I could take the job and not kill myself by working too hard, and not alienate myself to the existing staff by bringing on too many changes too quickly. These are the issues really, they are prepared to be very flexible about my working times, to give me time to return to the UK to see my several times extended family, so it is workable but still a big decision. My instinct says give it a go at least for a while, but i am also aware that this is the 1st place I have come to in India. I also feel like I my adventure is becoming a work one, and I'm not sure I want this to happen.....
I went to visit the Goverment's Institute of Mental Health in Chennai yesterday. My heart was broken all over again, 1500 people in this hospital, in very lovely grounds, but boxed into 'ward areas' dreadfully understaffed, and dirty and dismal buildings. I visited a female ward, the women are all in uniform, a totally shapeless dress, apparently they only have one dress so that while it is in the laundry they have to be naked. One woman who i chatted to (through an interpreter as she spoke Hini and not Tamil) was totally traumatised because the staff had given her a haircut, but it was gruesome, they had hacked her hair to bits, this had set her into a terrible state druelling and trembling. Poor lady. I am in awe of how the women are so smiley and beautiful through this hell that they live through every day.
SHIT. I felt like I was walking through a film that Steve showed us of MH care 100 years ago.
Having magical moments too, I saw a comet when I was with a friend in Mahamallapurum. And making new friends, from my culture and others. Like talking with a lovely Swami about philosophy and tourism, and making observations about my own personal journey through Indian culture.
I will tell one story that I know will make those who know me laugh knowingly, i started freaking because we went to a touristy place in Pondicherry and western women were walking around with practically nothing on, it seems almost pornographic to me now, and when we visited a temple, I got chatting to a Dutch tourist about Pakistan, he said 'Muslims are dangerous', well this was like showing a red rug to a bull of course..... My new friends were laughing at me, 'but we thought you were so chilled out', perhaps others recognise this....

Butterflies, toads and jumping frogs

I want to give my readers more of an idea about my life here, its all been a bit much but I am calming down, I am getting a bit more used to this relentless heat (42C tops so far) and 70-80% humidity (phew-ee), my pores have never been cleaner, sweat cascades over my skin all day every day. I feel happy though. I arrived in Kovalam on the 18th april and I had my 1st weekend off this last weekend. I have a room in the 'Protected Community' for 60 destitute women with varying degrees of 'Mental Illness'/mental health difficulties, or 'Mental Retardation'/learning difficulties, it has 24 hour security, but the women are free to go out whenever they want to, they don't though cos they are so institutionalised they are terrified of going out of their 'prison'. The women do not think they will ever live independently, there is no emphasis on recovery like in Scotland, which now seems amazingly advanced in its approach to mental health care. The community is quite remote, maybe 20 mins walk to the village, its surrounded by paddy fields and the pond opposite the gate has lotuses growing in it. In the village is the Health Centre, which is funded by The Banyan, its a community health project, and has a special interst in mental health, I am also paticipating (and innovating) here.

There is a lovely dog called Puppy who has recently had 6 puppies, they are gorgeous too, she comes with me on my morning walk, through the tropical environment where we see flocks of Parrakeets, Gheccos, Toads, huge butterflies/ Pathi Bouchie, coconut and mango trees, and the snake trails in the sand, in the moments before the sun rises high enough to scorch us.
I had a wee jumping frog in my drinking water tray last night.
Feels great to be so close to a tropical version of the natural world that I know so intimately.
Learning Tamil from scratch has been a wonderful and unique experience for me. Everyone is so pleased with how much I have learnt and encourage me heartfully and patiently. I can understand what the women say to me often now, but then aswell as having more command of the language I have developed relationships with them too.
A wonderfully rewarding experience.
I have a bike now too, which is a perfect way to get around, the locals love seeing me cycle past, as the only foreigner and a cycling one at that its pretty awesome. Getting used to riding much more sedately.
The heat is pretty much unbearable for me to do anything beyond sitting in a room with fan, its going to get hotter, May starts today and is referred to as the 'fire' month as it is supremely hot!! Uh-oh.....
I have all sorts of dreams about how I can input into these projects, and have found some ways of getting them across, which is very important of course.
Dreaming requires sleep too, and as I mention it..............zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Savaal (challenge) is here and now and very real....

Here I am struggling in this hot hot hot humid part of India pushing myself emotionally and professionally to the max. I met with the manager here for the 1st time today and she was a motivational force. My task for the next 5 weeks is to create a document on how The Banyan operates, to enable more forward thinking projects to get established. I am broken hearted at the Banyan's operations but I am told (and I believe) that the Indian state MH projects are much more backward, the ancient asylum system still operates in India. My task is a dream actually, its my chance to let India know of a more positive approach to MH care.

I have made some friends today, and learnt a new dance for a street theatre performance we will do on saturday in a nearby village, this is part of The Banyan's attempt to educate Indian society about MH issues. I am giving them more ideas too. India's MH care is similar to the UK 59 years ago, I plan to be here untill mid- late May, hopefully I can manage the heat, its 35C and rising and I'm not sure of the humidity level but its pretty intense.

I will write more soon as I will have regular access to a computer now.

Reflections on Pakistan

Here I am on my last day of freedom before I start working. I am taking things real slow, this heat is pretty exhausting 35C and rising, its just the beginning of the hot period here and I am taking time to adjust. It'll be interesting and challenging to see how my body copes after enduring a winter of extreme cold this is the other extreme.
I have realised that I picked up Guardia in Pakistan, and am taking a course of metronidazide, hopefully that'll sort it.
I wanted to write about the people of Pakistan because they really touched my heart, with their generosity of spirit, tolerance and abandonment of selfishness in the place of complete surrender to living harmoniously alongside their community. I met one man whose story depicts this quality, Tanveer Akber, a man whose age I could not tell, he could have been younger than me, or a lot older. We met him on a train from Rohri to Lahore, I commented on how small he had made himself in a very overcrowded carriage (Pakistanis generally make themselves very small to pack onto public transport, me and Tess were like western heffalumps in comparison and took up the space of at least 2x Pakistanis!), and Tesse said that she thought he was very humble. I spoke to him later on when he showed me that he spoke some English, he had such a beautiful heart. He told me that he was the only male in his family that could work so it was his duty to look after both of his aged sick parents, he worked for the railways as a platform attendent and showed me a letter that he had written to his senior in English asking to be considered for a promotion to ticket conductor as this meant more money, but he was very poor, he was religious too and when a beggar came onto the train he gave him some money, I didn't, when I have so much in comparison-? I gave him my prayer beads as a gesture of my respect for him. Such a small, and hopeful act- almost desperate?
I arrived in India on 13th april. It feels so much more developed than Pak. I spent a night at the Golden Temple, which was gorgeous, and met lots of sikhs, whom I found startlingly attractive. Then spent sveral days on a train to Chennai and here I am, I found friends immediately of course, in a travellers den in central Chennai, with rooms situated around a leafy neemy courtyard and a free flowing breeze through my room.
Tomorrow I move into Kovalam, accommodation provided by the folk I will work with. So more goodbyes, and hellos.
Lessons come to me in many forms already, these will be experiences of many magnitudes I have no doubt.

Forging frontiers

Greetings from NWFP (North Western Frontier Province). I am with my friend Aziz, who is showing me fantastic hospitality. It is nice to be with a local who can give me a view from the ground as it were rather than the tourist's eye view that has been wonderful but maybe not very real. I was beaten for a couple of weeks by an attack of a horrid Gastro sickness but I am just soaring again now. I have just been told to post this as a power failure will come but I have much more to write, please wait for next installment.
Aziz says that I am the first woman to step foot on the soil of NWFP with no hair!! I have so many different stories but I have to chose... I fell in love with Pakistan, the people welcome me everywhere with open hearts and the land is glorious and ever changing.... It is so precious to get this chance to take a peek into a world so different from the one I know.
Starting from the beginning a conversation that has stuck with me was with the Germans who we got a lift with from Taftan to Quetta. The scene.... a spaceship in the form that westerners would recognise as a caravan rolls up in a small village in Balouchistan and is soon surrounded by wide eyed boys, all peering in, "they have one thing we in the west dont have, time" -"wealth eats time" -"I'd prefer to have wealth , at least when we are sick we can get a doctor" So the life west is set up for when things go wrong? My immediate thoughts on arriving in Pak on 20th March in those 1st few days were that I could never live in the west again, but then I got really sick and I feel less strongly now. I feel wiped out by so much philosophising, but it goes on as I am yet to come to any conclusions...eek!!
I still absalutely love it here, I can't wipe a huge face splitting grin off my face when I am walking amongst the hecticities.
I return to Lahore tomorrow for my final days in Pak to party Sufi style with some other travellers before crossing the border into what will be again an all sensory explosion for all 5 of my massively overstimulated senses.

complexities in Iran

Yeah
I write this in Pakistan in retrospect. I cannot possibley convey the mammosity of my experiences in Iran in this breif prose but have a look at my photos they will enhannce this I hope. I have many more but will down load the rest later I selected the choicest ones.
People were so open to me and I have a very complex and unconsolidated overview of life in Iran.
The obvious thing for me is the way women are in Iran... so different from our lives in the west. Women have to cover their heads by law, all women over the age of 9 but many girls younger than this wear the scarf, through choice/ social or family influence? I talked to different women who gave me different perspectives on the dress code, for example Mesoumeh who told me that her habit and scarf protected her from dangers of the environment and people and other threats (interestingly I felt at my most vulnerable when I was with Mesoumeh because of how she crossed the road- this was the worst thing about Iran for me its a mad dice with death as you ddge the traffic, the women in black seem to glide through the traffic as though invisible but me well thats a different matter!). Other women detest the code, they find it belittling and restrictive. Can appreciate that.
We had a wonderful experience when we went looking for a women's hairdresser. We went on a goose chase around Yazd and finally happened to ask the right person by saying "Zan" and mimicking skissers in our hair, they showed us to theis door at the end of an alley and behind a locked door and then we were taken by women to a salon, a proper salon with gaggle of women inside who sat us down and gave us cay, brought by the hand of a man who reached with it round the door so as not to see us scarfless. WHat an experience we could take off our scarves, and dance with the women while Tess had her hair cut to a impeccable standard. I wnated to ask so many questions but language was a problem.
Me and Cammy (gorgeous french traveller) spent a day with Amir and his lovely family who showed us the sights of beautiful Yazd and took us to have lunch with his mum (Ashraj) and sister (Nagme- the feristere- angel). The women didn't take off their scarves at home, presumably very religious so I didn't either. In the evening they took us around Yazd to see the No Ruz celebrations (Muslim New Year) wow it was wild. We were central attractions as usual and people were delighted when Cammy jumped over the fire and I shouted "Adetou more barak" to them. It was like scenes from the apolcalypse fires, smoky streets, people riding bikes doing wheelies the streets crowded with people, the police came to break up geatherings (fun is not allowed in Iran) but they just sprang up elsewhere.
Me and Tesse caught a night bus from Yazd to Zahedan. we arrived in Zahedan at 5am and the border does not open untill 9am (but it was New Years Day so the officials were late) and the bus driver took us to his home where we met his wife, son Emra and sister. We had a fun few hours playing and communicating on the level that is beyong language. Then Akin took us to the square where we could get a taxi the 72km to the border.
The boirder was a dream, we were treated like princesses and looked after impeccably.
We met the German couple here and we got a lift to Dalbandin, spent a night in the police cell here and got treated to dinner with bikers from Czech and shaven heads by the barber, on the main street in view of men we were given bald heads... everyone kept proudly saying how Pakistan was free compared to Iran. I want to write more about this idea of freedom in Iran, Pakistan and the west but now we have a lunch invitation in Quetta so later.
Pakistan the land of pure people.

Velcro head

Greetings from Pakistan
We crossed the border yesterday with success. We spent last night in a police station in Dalbandin, between Taftan and Quetta. We were treated as princesses and treated to free haircut *me and my travel companion Tesse a dutch angel both had our heads shaved, we realise it would have been a good idea to do it earlier as our head scarves stay on muchbetter
We got a liftall the way to Quetta with a German couple and here weare. We feel like we have stepped onto the subcontinent.... which of course we have Iran is developed and feels western but here is totally different from anything experienced b4. We have been welcomedwith delightful hospitality and grace camels, smiling open faces and enormous generosity.
I am yet to translate my Iran experience into words to share with you all. I will do. I will try to depiect the diversity of experiences and gifts that I recieved. The iranian new year no ruz *more barak *the sun calender fell on 2th 9am and this was beautifulto share, and totally crazy in Yazd on 18th.
I have photos theycan helpme to communicate but probablynot completely. when Ican download them depends.... Cantcharge my camera and technology seems to be a bit spacey here.
I love these moments
More soon
love to all
Ktoe xx

Mechal arzar bosham (I want to be free)

Well what to tell....? Iranians are always approaching us and asking what we think of Iran and how is our time my reply is " Man khosh bakt" (I am lucky) I feel it intensely. Lucky to be me, lucky to have a British passpeort to give me access to these special experiences, lucky to have bumped into Erkki who has become my home on the road, lucky to be alive and meet all of these beautiful people, lucky to be free.
When we were in Tabriz, just arrived in Iran we were walking along the street and I suddenly had a burst of my rebellious streak, I was hot and enclosed in my hijab, and I looked around at all of the women in head scarves, and none of the men, and said 'what will happen if I take my scarf off now?' Erkki said 'you'd get stoned to death pretty probably. That is the truth unfortunately so I realise that when I break the social confines in Britain then at most I get some disapproving looks but here its much more punitative.
We had an interesting experience a couple of nights ago when the hotel staff came to the door in Bander Anzelli and said something to Erkki in Farsi which he didn't understand but thought they wanted him to go downstairs. I put my hijab on just in case, we didnt know what was happening and the police were at the door wanting to see Erkki's camera. They were very polite and not menacing at all, it was all a bit of a mystery in fact they left thanking us and that was it.
Erkki thought maybe it ws because he had taken a photo of a military building earlier and the police had tracked us down (as the only tourists in town).
We are now in Esfahan where we have landed in an extremely plush hotel quite by accident and given a room for equiv of $20 per night. We are knackered after a sleepless all night bus ride from Rasht.
Had a wonderful meeting yesterday with Bob who gave us lots more insight into Iranian culture

will write more on this later
love to yous
xxx

"A good heart is sometimes enough to see you safe wherever you go."

Depart london Kings X St Pancras 26^th February 2008

Travel to Brussells on Eurostar. Then Thalys to Cologne.

26.02.08

I had a few spare minutes at Köln Hbf so I stepped outside with my new pal Rolph a lovely guy around my dad’s age who was going to Romania by train to minimize his carbon footprint. He goes several times a year to one orphanage which he provides training in child care/ development to aswell as doing fundraising for. We stepped outside to the magnificent sight of Köln cathedral standing over the new square with its gothic intricacies and splendor. It has probably survived since the 1400’s and withstood all the bombing.

28.02.08

Hungary – Romania

I woke up to huge mountains covered in snow in Romania I had an eventful night and was woken up by passport control abruptly on leaving Hungary, this was the 1^st time my passport had been checked since leaving St Pancras!! European union is very liberating in this sense. Then the Romanian passport control barked at me and questioned me about my Iranian visa…

Arrived in Bucaresti where I will spend 1 night, initial impression is that it zings with stories and life in a completely different way to the one I know, there are remnants of communism in the culture, people have simple lives, and I guess by that I mean their lives are not complicated by an obsession with consumerism and gadgets…

Very cheap in Bucaresti. I stayed in a hostel there and spent hardly anything. I had a lovely roommate Mika, a German social worker on a tour of Romania. We swapped information, she told me about traveling through Pakistan to India and I gave her the contacts for lothlorien and she seemed really interested to go there and be a co-worker. Beautiful moments in passing.

29.02.08

Bucarest- Istanbul on Bosphor sleeper train

The lovely Turkish guard took me under his wing and gave me the cabin next to his to myself and he brought me cay (black tea)

The train passed through Romania glances of envy at people’s simple lives small holdings with a goat, sheep, chickens. A part of me longs for that.

The train passed over The Danube which was impressive and on into Bulgaria. There was snow here too. The countryside feels familiar with its arable scenes.

Some wee boys approached the train and asked me for euros I said I only had Romanian lei and they said yes to it so I passed them a 100 lei note (about e30) the Bulgarian policeman asked me if I had intended to give them this much and I replied its no use to me.

I met Erkki at the Turkish border where we had to disembark the train to get our visas. Erkki is an Estonian Fin who is on a journey to India too, taking the same route as me. We connected and decided to travel on together, we parted temporarily in Istanbul as I went off to meet Özge and Lewis in Kadiköy.

Turkey welcomed me with a big hug (and so it continues).

It was wonderful to stay with family in Istanbul they treated me with such love and generosity that only family can. We had a fabulous time together, visiting mosques, bazaars, eating lush Turkish cuisine. I loved Istanbul.

I brought an ankle bracelet from a jeweler called Noor Allah he captured my heart briefly with his lively creativity.

4.03.08

I traveled by bus to Safranbölu the home of gorgeous Osman. Turkish bus travel is really entertaining, there is a host who makes himself very busy giving everyone hand wash, water, buns, cay…..Very cheap too 30 ytl for a 5 hour journey. Loved Safranbölu, so pretty with its diverse architecture, all sorts of influences can be seen from Ottoman to the Seljuks. I found a lovely pension with my own room and dinner with the family.

Lots of stars here, constellations look different somehow.

5.3.08

I traveled by bus once more to meet Erkki in Ankara

Again I was entertained by Yasi and Oor.

We caught the night train to Malatya, a long but beautiful ride through the snowy Turkish mountains and then desert framed by the mountains.

Turkish hospitality was never ending for example when we bought the tickets in Malatya for the trans asian express the conductors then offered us cay a bit later on. I was struggling with a phone card in Istanbul station and this guy came up and offered me to use his mobile with no expectations.

6.03.08

We arrived in Malatya to a rapturous welcome everyone was so pleased to see me in a head scarf but I was told to cover up. We were warned that smaller places were more conservative. I was really desperate for a Hamam as I hadn’t yet had one (much to my disappointment) and we were given a lift to one but then told that it was men only. Felt like this was my 1^st real taster of the mans’ world that is in Islamic countries.

We hooked up with the Trans Asia Express from Malatya which will take us onto Iran….yeeba!

I say express but its not really….This train goes very slowly.

Kato: “This train seems to have just got even slower….”

Erkki: “Are you in a hurry or something?”

I sat in the restaurant carriage and sat in a different compartment to the men with my scarf on. The men are sitting and having intense conversations and staring lovingly into each others eyes, me I sit quietly feeling a bit out of place. Feels very different from Turkish trains when always we were the focus of much entertainment and fun with or without language.

The views from the windows were of magical and endless snow scenes.

We crossed Lake van at sunset and it was fabulous waved off by grinning snowy mountains.

8.03.08

We arrived in Tabriz in the morning about 7am so even tho the train had been 2 hours late and had gone as slow as a snail it managed to get in on time our new Norwegian friend Kristian suggested that the Iranians were mighty clever as no one could understand their timetables and thus they always seemed on time.

The train conductor took a shine to me and came and tickled me in the morning when we arrived at Tabriz and refused to shake my hand but then tried to kiss me out of sight of other men.

Tabriz took us by the short n curlies and didn’t leave any room for adapting to this foreign environment. We felt glad we had come through Turkey as it had eased us in a bit.

On arriving in Tabriz we headed straight for the tourist information and met Nasser Khan who is mentioned in the Lonely Planet, he showed us a fantastic welcome, and as advised by my Afghan friends in Istanbul Grand Bazaar I said I was from Scotland, which seemed to be preferable to England as it turns out, an English couple arrived later on and I noticed that he was definitely less warm to them, perhaps due to the Government’s intolerance of Iran? I was approached by an Iranian lady holding a small child and she asked me why we came to Iran and what I thought of wearing the headscarf I replied that it was very interesting for me, unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to continue this conversation as we were whisked apart by the thronging people. We found a hotel, basic but good and checked in as husband and wife. Our new friends Kristian and Johanna left their bags in our room and Erkki crashed while we went off into the Grand Bazaar (the biggest in Iran 35km of shops in wee tunnels). It was very strange we were approached by Iranians numerous times (always men tho) and they would only speak with Kristian and ignore us girls, I felt a bit freaked out by it and longed to be with Erkki who had become my traveling home. We caught a cab to Park E Golli in the evening and had a wee walk over the melting but still crunchy snow. In the evening we met a new friend Massoud who together with his cousins took us under their wing and helped us to find some food, we ended up with hamburgers but we were well happy, Iranian hamburgers are more scrummy then any I have tasted in the western world!! Massoud is studying English and spoke to us very openly and warmly about his country, he asked us why we came to Iran and we told him about our trip, he said without any bitterness or resentment that they (Iranians) didn’t go anywhere because they were poor.

9.3.08

I visited the Blue Mosque in Tabriz this morning and was delighted by it. It was of similar design to the Blue Mosque in Istanbul but in process of renovation, fantastic project piecing back together all of the beautiful mosaics. This time I went on my own and was offered help by a young man who spoke English. We then caught a taxi driven by a lovely man Mohammed Ali (very modern he shook my hand and everything!) to Kandovan an ancient village about 50km from Tabriz with houses that have been carved out of the rock. I am not sure what sort of rock it is but chalky and soft, maybe limestone?

Mohammed Ali drpped us at tabriz bus station and we caught a bus to Sar’eyn. The bus journey was fun. A woman sat behind us started talking to me Sappita, she spoke good English and her family were lovely but we communicated through her she reminded me of Constantina and I showed her a photo and she agreed. She wanted us to go to her house but because of Ta’oah (a tradition in Iran where you are supposed to turn an offer down 3 times before you can be sure that it is for real) we did not take them up on their invitation, much to my regret. In retrospect I think the offer was genuine but its very difficult. At the bus break they invited us for cay and we had photos, I placed myself next to Sohrab and he quickly moved (men are not supposed to sit next to unrelated women) I realized after and apologized to which he told me (through Suppita) that there were no borders between Iran and Britain. We then caught a taxi to Sareyn where the taxi driver found us a cushy hotel, with a balcony and kitchen for only 15$ per night for both of us.

10.3.08

Dad’s birthday, we manage dto find a telephone and post office because of the famous Ali in Sar’eynwho every one would phone when we approached them for help and he would translate for us. We invited him for dinner in our wee pad later and I cooked (and burnt a wee bit) ommlette. He then took us for cay and water pipe in an exotic feeling although a bit faded water café.

We are in Sara’eyn (also Sareen/ Sarein there are no exact translations from Farsi to English- transliteration). Apparently we are the 2^nd tourists of the year so far! Sar’eyn is famous for its natural hot springs which can cure any ailment from skin problems to asthma. Separate men and women bathing of course, we had very different experiences and it was interesting to compare them. Having arrived in Iran and felt suffocated by my headscarf now I could take it off in public and I felt very hesitant, however other women were going without and so I abandoned my fears. Some women wore swimming caps but most had their hair free. I wanted to speak to them but the language was too great a barrier, I know that they seemed happy though.With their heads free the women seemed to be able to touch azad (liberation), and some evn walked around topless! In the changing room they put on some Iranian music and started dancing. It was very beautiful, I spoke to someone later who told me that his wife went to the baths every week. Doesn’t surprise me really if it is one place they can feel like this. The baths were gorgeous 45C swimming in a bath is lush and freeing in itself, in terms of breaking out of conventional restrictions.

11.3.08

We left Sar’eyn cheered off by Ali (which incidentally means ‘perfect’ in Farsi too) who offered us his friendship, he cycles around Iran, captures my imagination and desire for adventure.

We met Amir in the Savari (shared taxi) Amir grew up in USA but is Iranian and got fed up of not being treated as an American citizen so moved to Iran 7 years ago. What an interesting story he had! He said that not many international people come to Iran so when people see us they are very curious. Yes indeed.

So onto Bandar Anzelli by bus, we found a cheap hotel and wanderec around the streets. Bandar Anzelli has a nice feel to it, it feels like a holiday place.

12.3.08

Today I went for a boat ride around the wetlands and into the mouth of the Caspian sea (a sea or a lake? Answers on a postcard please…). Pretty houses on the shore, birds, (gulls mainly also saw a wagtail).

Errki-

My traveling companion is a dude for sure. We make a good team and we are a very harmonious pair. Feeling very happy with everything.

Local elections coming up on friday. The different parties are busy campaingning, music, fliers, all very peaceful (more so than in the UK in fact). We can't get an idea of the different electees because all the information is in Farsi and altho we're learning (numbers and essential communications are as far as we've got so far). Our new friend Massoud will bring us up to speed. I am starting to feel a bit annoyed at the negative world view of Iran, we are being so well treated by this beautiful country, it feels a bit unreal in fact. Erkki says that he feels kind of uncomfortable because people are so generous. I feel I am more used to this culture because of knowing Zahra who has introduced it to me over the years.

I am frustrated by the lack of physical contact tho, its not without warmth but just no one touches anyone else in public. I guess I realize that this is my attachment, I feed off giving and receiving affection. Erkki says his attachment is to music.

We leave Bander Anzali tomorrow, headed for Esfahan by bus 16 hours over night.

Feel like we're living the dream for sure

xx

Sensory overload in Iran

So we arrived in Iran after a long journey from Turkey we left Ankara wednesday 5th and arrived in Tabriz 8/3/08.
I have a head scarf and a black mantou ( a tent like thingto make my body look shapeless).
I surprised myself by how qickly I came accustomed to it, and even forgot to take it off last nightwhen we arrived in our hotel.
Christ I have so many stories to share but I feel that now is not the time to write them as it is sunny outside, and there are hot spings here so we will go to them now, separate men and women bathing of course! But I will be allowed to wear a swimming cossie ooer!
More soon, m wonderful companion, Erkki has a laptop do it will be possible to tell my tales
blisses
xxxxxx